Monday, November 5, 2012

Hard Truths

I wrote another post today for Band Back Together. It's a follow up to to the one I wrote in October last year. I haven't heard yet when it will be posted. I'll likely need a lot of virtual hand-holding between now and then. I found out some hard truths about my abuser and am coming to terms with them.

He is still offending, or at least there is evidence that he has been doing so in the last decade. Seeing as how he swore he was done well before that and insisted he'd gotten help...well, it was disheartening to say the least. He's still offending and lying about it and somehow managing not to have to deal with the consequences of his actions.

He made the mistake of replying to a message that I sent him on Facebook. The reply he sent was fairly damning. Way too much time has passed for me to do anything about what he did to me but it's at least some fairly substantial proof that he was an abuser. I can use this in the future if I'm ever called to testify for someone else. He's since blocked me on Facebook, but not before I print screened our exchange.

When I found out he'd been lying about coming clean about it all, I sent him one final message. I'm not sure if he read it before blocking me and deleting our conversation and I'm sure it won't make a bit of difference but at least I was able to get the words out.

I cannot believe that you had the opportunity to do the right thing and you lied to [redacted]. You molested me for years and you admitted it to me on more than one occasion. I forgave you and moved on. I let you HOLD my DAUGHTER when we met last. You and I had an agreement that you would tell [redacted] and you did not hold up your end of the bargain.

You have the opportunity to make this right. Tell [redacted] the truth. Show me how you truly are not the same person you were. Please do this. Do the right thing.
Just know this, even if you don't tell the truth? I still forgive you and a part of me will always care for you because [redacted].
Please do the right thing. I am begging you. [Redacted] need to know and need to not be caught in the middle between [redacted]. I love them. Please don't risk my chance to finally know [redacted].
(Identifying names and details have been removed for the privacy of others.)
He will never stop and I don't know what to do. He has so many people completely snowed. He painted this picture of me being a sad and confused little girl and how he'd never do anything to hurt me and people believed him because he's convincing. He's been charged but not convicted on numerous occasions. 
It was so much easier to move on when I thought he'd stopped. Now I don't know what to feel.

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Lori said...

Jo, I pray that your day to teastify, even if only in someone else's defense comes. No one, and I mean NO ONE, has the right to do what he has done and get away with it. Stay strong! <3 lo

Lori said...

Testify... sorry

Anonymous said...

Do you feel like there is anyone you can tell? Someone else you feel like he is doing this to? The police? Even though you can't prosecute for what he did to you. I don't think he'll stop and he needs to.

Lots of hugs and kisses to you.