Friday, July 31, 2009

An Open Letter To Tavaris Jackson**

**Written by a friend of mine. Much as I'd love to take credit...well, I'm not quite THIS funny.

Dear TJ:

In a recent interview with the Star Tribune, you were asked what you focused on in your off-season workouts. You stated that in addition to keeping up your speed and strength and working on your endurance, you changed your diet. You went on to say that you went from 13-14% body fat to 10% body fat by increasing the amount of times you eat. You also stated “Quality control. It helps.”

I am very curious about your new body fat loss plan. I, too, would like to eat more and lose weight. In fact, that has been my goal for the last (almost) 27 years. Tell me, how do I shovel more food in my face and lose weight? How did you do it? By quality control, did you mean that you only eat gourmet chocolate and gourmet cream sauces? If so, I can totally handle that. Please advise.

In addition, if this whole "football" thing doesn't work out for you, you should strongly consider the weight loss cookbook and work out tape industry. You could make millions! I would be willing to bet that almost nobody would think you were the worst thing to happen to the weight loss industry, which is really the complete opposite of how people feel about you with the Vikings. Just some food for thought – no pun intended.

Sincerely yours,

Stephanie F.

Many thanks to Steph for making me laugh today. You are the best.

1 comment:

Tom said...

I was quite excited at the prospect of Favre coming here. With Jackson at the helm again, I'm just "Meh".