Thursday, June 25, 2009

Warning! Liberal use of swear words ahead

Seriously...dude. If you don't like swear words then please don't read any further. Rant to follow.

This is an excerpt from an email I sent this morning. You know, that time of day when it is pitch black out and your baby wakes you up because he's hungry and has basically started refusing a bottle at daycare and saving it all for the mama. Thanks baby boy! I really love this extra time together...when it's dark and quiet and I would usually be SLEEPING.

Anyway, here goes:

Long week, Jamie no sleepy. *Someone not in the immediate family (aka not living in our house but still someone close enough to make us really worry) had emergency surgery. (She's fine-ish now. I'll forward you the family email if you want.) I got lost going to the Twin Cities campus and ended up getting a freaking ticket. Asshole campus police assholes. Bursting into tears did not help at all, if anything it turned him into a bigger asshole...FYI if you ever get pulled over in Minneapolis.

"No officer, I don't know why I was pulled over. I was speeding? I was?? I had no idea. No seriously, I didn't. I'm so sorry, I am from out of town and trying to find this class I am taking today and I am SO LOST and now I'm running late. I had no idea I was speeding. My husband is trying to get me to where I need to go but I have no sense of direction and I'm all turned around." Yes officer, I know I was talking on my cell phone, did you not hear me say I was LOST and my husband was giving me directions? I'm a fucking loser and I need Onstar so that I can have someone always giving me literally step-by-step directions at all times because I could not find my own ass if I had a compass and a map. So even though it is OBVIOUS that I'm having a shit day and I'm lost AND late for my class that I drove an hour and a half to get to and they probably won't let me in now, go right ahead and give me that speeding ticket...and feel free to take your fucking time and lecture me TWICE about all speed limits on Minneapolis streets being 30 mph even though there aren't a lot of signs posted and I told you TWICE I was lost, late and from out of town, kthanksbye.

However, I wouldn't be me if I didn't share the silver lining. At least I didn't get a ticket for 'failure to provide proof of insurance'. Yep, you guessed it. No current insurance card in the car. We HAVE insurance...just didn't have the most current info in the car. Personally, I just think he didn't want to see me completely melt down if he tried to ticket me for that too. Smart man.

*Name removed to respect the privacy of the individual

P.S. I forgot to mention the part where Jamie pooped all over as I was trying to drop him off at daycare before leaving for the Twin Cities and I had to take him back home and change all of his clothes. Yeah, daycare is next door...but STILL. Sheesh.

Silver lining moments number two, three and four: I made it through the day, we all survived it and I started reading Anne of Green Gables to Katy and she LOVES IT. I'll post more about that tomorrow...erm...I mean later today. :P


Sunshine Mama said...

With stories like that I begin to think we are living in a police state and what he did to you was called harassment. Sorry you had to endure that.

On a brighter note, Anne of Green Gables is AWESOME.

Jo said...

I must admit that I *was* speeding. I was clocked going 21 over the limit. I know I was not paying attention to my speed so if he says I was then he was right. I was very frustrated at the time and know I was not monitoring my speed.

I deserved the ticket. It was just unfortunate that he couldn't look at my situation and make a determination to let me off with a warning or at least 'bump' it down a bit.

Because I tend to look at situations with compassion, I always feel so frustrated when others do not - especially when it's directed at ME of course! :D

Leighann said...

I always wonder how these cops feel at the end of the day. Do they go home to their wives and say 'i felt so bad for this lady today...' or do they say, 'you should've seen this lady i pulled over today...' i'm glad he let you off for the ins. card. at least he knew when enough was enough.

Joe said...

I forgot to renew the plates on my car last year (oh wow... two years ago now). Wife was driving the car and got a ticket for it. She cursed me up and down the block for it and STILL brings it up here and then. My argument of "you knew it was expired, so why were you driving it?" has never worked.

Guess who registered the plates two months early last year AND this year.... THIS GUY!